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Porn Stars: Sydnee Steele, Teri Starr
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
Full DVD Review: Hot Bods And Tail Pipe #02
The principal difference between this scene and something from "Lord of Asses" is the douche bag holding the camera. It's quite pathetic that I'm now praying for the marginally increased talent level of Extreme Associates. Who would have ever thought that someone could be more annoying than Rob Black? At least, Rob never tried to get involved in the action. I don't think these actors appreciate the overzealous director. There's even a point where Sydnee smacks Stoney's hand away when he tries to finger Teri. Dude, nobody wants to see your Seiko® sports watch flopping around on the T&A. How about trying to keep the camera steady?
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Nov 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Sydnee Steele, Teri Starr, Tom Byron, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Blonde, Brunette, Editor's Choice, Money Shot, Rimjob, Threesome
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Porn Stars: Alyssa Love, Dee
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
Full DVD Review: Hot Bods And Tail Pipe #01
Gary is the name of the gentleman who owns the '28 Ford 428 in this scene. I want to make sure he gets full credit for his appearance. His is both a hot rod enthusiast and a horn dog. It's fairly common for the two to go hand in hand. During the few short minutes in which Alyssa Love and Dee are fondling each other on and near his vehicle, I had to hold my breath. You simply can't allow the kind of stank that these two are pumping out to come in contact with so much chrome. They will corrode your pipes in no time. It is far better to leave them in the capable hands of Tom Byron. He seems impervious to stankness and in fact, thrives on it. When he takes the girls back to the love nest, this basically turns into "Lord of Asses" with far worse camerawork.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Nov 14, 2009
Rebel Tags: Alyssa Love, Dee, Tom Byron, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Black, Blonde, Interracial, Rimjob, Salad Tossing, Threesome, Toys
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Porn Stars: Candy Hill, Jill Kelly
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
Full DVD Review: Hot Bods And Tail Pipe #01
If we wanted to put a major dent in the fighting spirit of the Taliban, all we'd have to do is drop 30,000 copies of this scene over the mountains of Afghanistan (VHS, of course.) What's more American than muscle cars and big titted blondes in stars and stripes bikinis? Even the most devout Jihadist has to admit that two whores in the bed are worth 70 virgins in heaven, especially when one of them isn't afraid to toss salad. Tom Byron loves that, in case you hadn't noticed. He also digs old school bimbo types in those high hipped thongs with teased out hair. I've gotta think that the Hadjis would agree with him. They're like 20 years behind us in pop culture development, right?
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Nov 14, 2009
Rebel Tags: Candy Hill, Jill Kelly, Tom Byron, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Big Tits, Blonde, Salad Tossing, Threesome
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Porn Stars: Inari Vachs
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Whack Attack #01
Golly, I've never seen a porn whore use an electric shaver on her undercarriage. Then again, this was a different time with different trends. Shit like that comes and goes with the changing seasons, rather like Inari Vachs herself. During her 15 minutes, she was the definition of porn stardom. Now you'd be challenged to find anyone outside of your avid porn enthusiast who remembers her. Tom Byron certainly does. He's enamored with Inari from the start. If I didn't know any better, then I'd say that the two of them had a private warm-up together beforehand, as her hair is all tossled. Well, the hair on her head. The pubes between her legs are trimmed with military precision. In my opinion, such uniform stubble in a woman's grundle is extremely cool. It's got to be an interesting sensation.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 27, 2009
Rebel Tags: Inari Vachs, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Brunette, Rimjob
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Porn Stars: Roxanne Hall, Teri Starr
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Whack Attack #01
This is vintage Roxanne Hall. Did you know that she used to be quite the porn superstar before becoming a regular on the MILF circuit? What's funny is that she doesn't appear to have aged a bit from this scene. See, ladies? Aggressive butt sex can have you looking young and hot well into your forties. It's important that you convulse and get angry at the cock though. That's key. It's what keeps your abs rock solid like Roxanne's. I do have to laugh at Teri Starr. She's oblivious that Roxanne is enjoying herself the entire time, thinking that what she's doing is hurting her. Yeah, right! Tom knows. You could hit Roxanne in the face with a nine iron, and she'd have an orgasm.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 27, 2009
Rebel Tags: Roxanne Hall, Teri Starr, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Blonde, Brunette, Double Penetration, Editor's Choice, Euro, Rimjob, Salad Tossing, Threesome, Toys
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Porn Stars: Eve
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Whack Attack #01
Where'd you get that shiner, Eve? Maybe you said the wrong thing to your Hungarian pimp? "You do butt fuck!" "No, I not work with Tom Byron." PUNCH! "OK, I be good whore." (Don't ask me why that conversation took place in broken English. That's just how I heard it in my head.) In any event, compared to a haymaker, anal sex with Tom Byron is no big deal. Eve hardly has the pop of some of the other girls that we've seen so far in this movie. She showcases a lot of positions but never owns the scene in any of them. Even with the proper "motivation," a Euro whore can't cut it in the domestic market.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 27, 2009
Rebel Tags: Eve, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Brunette, Euro, Rimjob, Salad Tossing
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Porn Stars: Bree Brooks
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Lord Of Asses #06
I wasn't enamored with this scene until the very special moment when the editor flash wipes with the origin at Bree's clit piercing. Boy, now that's creativity! It shows far more originality than Mr. Tom Byron is able to muster in his conversation. Just put the cock in her mouth already, and do what both of you do best. Hell, once that kicks in, it's like a brand new day. Bree has no reason to be nervous. She's a stunning Amazonian who does a terrific doggie and powers through some realistic anal. No jackhammer gaping here. Tom honors his promise to be gentle.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 6, 2009
Rebel Tags: Bree Brooks, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Blonde, Piercing, Rimjob
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Porn Stars: Sierra
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Lord Of Asses #06
Back before every white trash teenage mother thought that Sierra was a "pretty name," there was only one place for a woman with such a unique moniker: porn. How many kindergarten teachers do you know with a name like Sierra? That birth certificate might as well come with a G-string and a pair of stilettos these days. At any rate, this Sierra is black, and she has enormous tits. They match her bubbly personality. She's one of these gals who gets super-hyper when she's nervous and laughs uncontrollably. Her energy carries through to the actual fucking, which does pull some life out of Tommy. In case you didn't know, he's a big fan of the darkies.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 6, 2009
Rebel Tags: Sierra, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Big Ass, Big Tits, Black, Interracial, Rimjob, Salad Tossing
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Porn Stars: Ryan Conner, Alexia Riley
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Lord Of Asses #06
OK, so I don't care for either Ryan or Alexia. Fortunately, there are two of them. With their combined powers, this scene becomes far more interesting. It's like this: Would you rather sleep with one moderately hot girl or a pair of average-looking ones? That choice is simple. Average wins every time! Hotness doesn't make the lips around your dick any softer or wetter. A woman's attractiveness doesn't necessarily dictate the condition of her carnival. Most importantly, a couple of average chicks are much more likely to do disgusting, deplorable things to you and to each other. The benefits clearly outweigh the impact to your reputation.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 6, 2009
Rebel Tags: Alexia Riley, Ryan Conner, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Blonde, Brunette, Salad Tossing, Threesome
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Porn Stars: Catalina
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Tom Byron
Full DVD Review: Lord Of Asses #06
There are pussies and then there are PUSSIES. Catalina is in firm possession of the latter. I don't know how she can be a porn star and take such pristine care of that beaver. It practically looks as though it's never been muscled around or seen the sharp side of a razor, despite being completely devoid of hair. On the other hand, her asshole has seen better days. Perhaps the condition is the secret to her success. I suspect that Catalina also does a lot of blow. That would explain the nasally tone of her voice, and why she lets guys piss in her mouth. Rest assured that if such an activity were to enter my sexual repertoire, I would hope to be on some sort of mood altering substance. Furthermore, Catalina yells out, "Make your cock feel good in my ass!" Nonsensical shit like that is a telltale sign of drug abuse.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 6, 2009
Rebel Tags: Catalina, Tom Byron, Extreme Associates, Directed By Tom Byron, Anal, Brunette, Rimjob, Salad Tossing