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Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
This fun story about a doctor and his power tools shows more creativity than we've seen lately from Lurid. I still struggle to tag it "feature," because there's not an all-encompassing plot that ties it together. The movie goes off on tangents just for the sake of providing settings and shots that you know the producer had a hand in. Believe it or not, I notice shameless self-promotion in an industry that is saturated by it. Point of fucking aside, I was definitely impressed by the scenes themselves. Most of them show excellent pace and don't force action that isn't there. All except the twins, Cali and Cherish Marie. With them, I've never seen something so forced in my life. Are those chicks even real?
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: DVD Reviews, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones
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Porn Stars: Ariana Jollee
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
Here are two rules of thumb that you must remember when dealing with Velcro and your cock. #1: ALWAYS open, harsh side out. #2: NEVER let a woman attempt to do it for you. That's like scratching your crotch with sandpaper. For all their good intentions, women simply do not possess the dexterity to negotiate a penis through such treacherous territory. With that PSA taken care of, we can get into this scene with Ariana Jollee and Randy Spears. It's certainly got a lot going for it, mostly because these two are such experienced sexual deviants. Randy's humor and charisma outweigh Ariana and her antics, thereby forcing her self-induced finger squirting to take a backseat. Mark my words - that's a relief. Ariana always does better when she doesn't have to lead or isn't allowed to. The reciprocating sex toys are an interesting device. The jury is still out on their effect.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Ariana Jollee, Randy Spears, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Anal, ATM, Brunette, Costumes, Squirt, Toys
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Porn Stars: Layla Jade, Ariana Jollee
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
I suppose it's fair to say that this scene is decidedly more . . .clinical. At least, Randy throws out a couple terms that are in the ballpark of medical jargon. He also uses a reciprocating saw with a dildo attached to it, so his credibility as an actual doctor isn't terribly high. Of course, Ariana Jollee assists. With a patient like Layla Jade, Randy needs all the help he can get. She's a handful in a lot of different ways. A pair of big, healthy tits hangs with authority from her chest. I also didn't notice so much in the opener (because there was nothing to compare it to), but Layla makes Ariana's ass look chunky. With such anal enthusiasts, it's shocking that Randy is able to go this entire threesome with his clothes on. Evidently, he's more inclined to let the power tools do the dirty work.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Ariana Jollee, Layla Jade, Randy Spears, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Anal, ATM, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Costumes, Double Penetration, Euro, Threesome, Toys
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Porn Stars: Alicia Rhodes
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
Holy blast from the past! How fucking long has it been since we've seen Alicia Rhodes? It seems like forever. She's one of those thick, nasty British whores that you don't soon forget. Hell, I remember her killing it back in the Pussyman days. Alicia was an A-list slut, and she always packed her fishnet bodystocking. Never a big fan of that myself, I'm happy to see that she's left it at home in lieu of attire more fitting for her age. Oh, come on, like co-ed twenty-somethings go to the pussy doctor to have their insides scraped out by a giant dildo. Alicia's getting up there, and you know it. She's wearing a leather skirt for fuck's sake!
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Alicia Rhodes, Randy Spears, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Blonde, Costumes, Euro, Toys
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Porn Stars: Taylor Rain
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
I have to wonder how this scene fits whatever storyline this movie was trying to establish. My best guess is that the producer was craving a way to show off his status by including some glamour shots of his car. Good for you, buddy. You have a Lotus with a vanity license plate. Now everyone who follows you on the 405 knows that you're a smut peddler. If only he'd been pulled over, and the cops found the dildo tools in the back . . .talk about YouTube gold! But that's my vindictive imagination running amok. The reality is that Taylor Rain gets triple teamed by Alex, Chris and DeWalt®. There's even a sex swing involved. Incredible how none of it makes any sense, but it's so damned convenient for hedonistic fucking.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Taylor Rain, Alex Sanders, Chris Charming, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Anal, ATM, Brunette, Double Penetration, Toys, Two On One
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Porn Stars: Cali Marie, Cherish Marie
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
On their own, neither Cali nor Cherish would turn many heads. The fact that they're twins gives them the advantage of combining their physical mediocrity to become the most sought after of all sexual combinations. That's the idea anyway. I mean, shit - their porno acting is weak sauce. How dare these Marie sisters ruin my fantasy of exploiting an ovarian anomaly for sexual gratification. One of them even has a tit tattoo! Sonofabitch! My advice is for anyone who wants to remain in the Matrix by believing that twins are the holiest of the holy - stay away from this scene.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Cali Marie, Cherish Marie, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Blonde, Lesbian, Toys
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Porn Stars: Nikki Hunter
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
This should help you appreciate how strong a porn stud Randy Spears is. Marcos Leon does absolutely nothing to add value, short of slinging a dick and some power tools. Most of you don't watch adult movies for the story or the acting chops, but there's a level at which it drops from unobtrusive to annoying. When that happens, the whole effort suffers. Thankfully, Nikki Hunter is the counterpart with her legs spread. She can easily carry a scene on her back - no joke, she can carry a scene, while lying on her back and preferably with her legs spread. However, I have to chuckle at the "tight pussy" gag. Nikki hasn't been tight since grade school. She's also never squirted before, as far as I'm aware. That's something to hang your hat on.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Nikki Hunter, Jason Horne, Marcos Leon, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Anal, Blonde, Costumes, Double Penetration, Editor's Choice, Piercing, Squirt, Toys, Two On One
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Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: The Doctor Is In . . .You
Note to Ariana Jollee for the future: Don't smoke two full joints before doing a scene with Randy Spears. She's got the giggles . . .bad. I almost made the mistake of giving her credit before seeing this. My suspicions are once again confirmed that she's awful to work with and a prima donna skank.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Oct 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Behind The Scenes
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Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Holy crap, why didn't someone come up with this concept sooner? This is easily one of the funniest fucking titles I've had the pleasure to come across in the last few years. It's so simple, too. I'm surprised that they didn't do a series with it. Everybody knows about MTV "Cribs." That show created a style all its own and gave us some hilarious moments of celebrity narcissism. Lil' Jon screaming, "What you know about RADIO?!?!" is my personal favorite. So why not incorporate the same style of camera movement and lavish showcasing into a porn movie? The result is more than I could have ever hoped for. L'Chaim, Evan Stone. L'Chaim!
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Aug 11, 2009
Rebel Tags: DVD Reviews, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones
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Porn Stars: Avena Lee
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Suitcase Jones
Full DVD Review: Kribs
I honestly don't know what's funnier: Tyler Knight's inability to come anywhere close to a ghetto accent, or the fact that he uses "Pygmy Skin" in a sentence! Either way, I'm laughing my ass off. So is Avena Lee. She can't help it, and I can't blame her. One look at Tyler's grill and it's impossible to keep a straight face, especially when he's fucking around with that clock. Tyler eventually settles in and bends her over like L.L. back in the day. "Get these balls!" Do us all a favor and try not to piss yourself at the accidental humor of Avena Lee's one titty hanging out of her top, flopping around on a solo twirl.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Aug 11, 2009
Rebel Tags: Avena Lee, Tyler Knight, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Suitcase Jones, Asian, Costumes, Interracial
