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Porn Stars: Jezebelle Bond, Daisy, Brooke Haven, Nyomi Marcella
Produced by: Tight Fit and Directed By Patti Rhodes
Full DVD Review: Afterhours: Jezebelle Bond

How is it possible for me to be this disgusted by a foursome of gorgeous women? Maybe personality is the greatest factor in attraction after all. Nah, it's Brooke's eye make-up! Seriously, what the fuck is that about? It's bad enough that she shows ZERO genuine interest in hooking up with these chicks. Brooke doesn't have to make herself the focal point of every shot. Fine, you've been a whore for a while, the excitement is gone, there's no chemistry - I get it. Let's try less flash and more showmanship. The popsicle in the ass is the right idea, but come on! Sell me on the awesomeness of the shitsicle!

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Mar 3, 2010
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Daisy, Jezebelle Bond, Nyomi Marcella, Tight Fit, Directed By Patti Rhodes, Anal, Asian, ATM, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Interracial, Latina, Lesbian, Piercing, Tattoo, Toys

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven, Nikki Hunter
Produced by: X-Worx and Directed By Shay Sights
Full DVD Review: Sex Illusions #02

Having discovered Shay's plagiarism in the first scene, I decided to Google her next sexual goddess. It sounds like she's saying, "Rhea," the daughter of Uranus (porn snicker snicker). However, she was Greek and not Norse. There is also the valkyrie by the name of "Freyja." She was indeed a powerful goddess, protector of all things natural and feminine. People were just as likely to pray to her for bountiful crops, as they were for a safe and healthy child, but I can't find any instance of her being a sexually explicit deity. I suppose that this pornographic representation of her having a threesome with another valkyrie and Alex Sanders is Shay taking artistic license with a highly interpretable oral tradition. You know how those Vikings loved their butt sex and orgies!

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Nov 26, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Nikki Hunter, Alex Sanders, X-Worx, Directed By Shay Sights, Anal, ATM, Big Tits, Blonde, Costumes, Editor's Choice, Piercing, Threesome

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven, Jordan Styles, Olivia Saint
Produced by: Lurid Entertainment and Directed By Bridgette Kerkove
Full DVD Review: Vamp

Here's a recap of my thoughts from the first three seconds of this scene. "Who is that fat chick in the middle?" "It must be the camera angle. No whore is that overweight and still working mainstream . . .oh, it's Olivia Saint." "Holy crap! What the fuck happened?" Latex and PVC aren't for everyone, particularly when you're tipping the scales at well over 160 lbs. Brooke isn't too far behind with her new tits weighing in at ten pounds apiece. They've apparently given her a more aggressive attitude towards those who would lick her pussy and shove toys in her butt. That could also be Bridgette's piss poor direction. She seems to think that lesbian action is sexier when bitches browbeat each other and cop attitudes. Frankly, it's annoying. Guys have to listen to enough of that shit as it is. Don't ruin lesbian porn for us, too!

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Nov 14, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Jordan Styles, Olivia Saint, Lurid Entertainment, Directed By Bridgette Kerkove, Anal, ATM, Big Ass, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Lesbian, Piercing, Threesome, Toys

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven
Produced by: Le Wood/NXT LeVL and Directed By Francesca Le
Full DVD Review: His Ass Is Mine

We give Christian a lot of shit around here and rightly so. You know as a porn actor that if you decide to go the bisexual route, then you're opening yourself up to some ribbing from the gay-fearing straight crowd. I don't count myself amongst them - I just think it's funny to rag on the guy because he loves dick in his ass. Oh, and did I mention that he also gargles and deep throats it? It sincerely makes no difference who you are. When being fucked with a strap-on (or by another guy on occasion) is what you're into, you can no longer claim hetero status. So, Christian, quit your whining and accept who you are . . .a cock-loving pervert.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Sep 3, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Christian, Le Wood/NXT LeVL, Directed By Francesca Le, Big Ass, Big Tits, Blonde, Rimjob, Salad Tossing, Strap-On

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven, Kelli Tyler
Produced by: Maximum Xposure and Directed By Mysterio
Full DVD Review: Size Queens

We pick up Brooke and Kelli in the throes of lesbian passion, as porn whores are so apt to be. But am I fucking missing something here? I thought they were required to be all about the big dicks. Cue "boyfriend," Ben English. Brooke knows better than anyone what he's packing. Well, that's not actually true. Almost all the new girls who sign with L.A. Direct can tell you about it. He's a hard charger with zero regard for vaginal wellbeing. Not like that's a problem for Kelli or Brooke. They love the feeling of Ben rearranging their internal organs. And since one big dick deserves another, Brooke dons a substantial strap-on, which adds to the mayhem. There's literally so much fucking going on in this scene that it's hard to keep straight who is in whom.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Jun 28, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Kelli Tyler, Ben English, Maximum Xposure, Directed By Mysterio, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Money Shot, Threesome, Toys

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Porn Stars: Paris, Devon Daskalos, Tyla Wynn, Valerie Vasquez, Sara Stone, Myah Monroe, Kylee King, Jessi Summers, Jenaveve Jolie, Jassie, Emilianna, Courtney Simpson, Brooke Haven, August Night
Produced by: Vertigo and Directed By Bobby Manila
Full DVD Review: Vulvapalooza

A roomful of porno bitches who are all sizing each other up while trying to be the sexiest or the most badass? Fuck, dude, that's practically my worst nightmare. You have no idea the amount of estrogen flying around this set. In any other situation, a full-blown catfight would certainly erupt. Thank your lucky stars that these whores are paid for sexual performances. The lure of a paycheck helps to keep everyone in line and put lips to twat. Look, I'm confident there are a few alpha whores in this mix who want to get their hands on some of the others. The simple law of averages proves that one! Still, scanning over the group, I'm sad to report that there isn't a clear, sought-after hottie whom everyone wants to fuck. Not that any of them would own up to it if they did. You want to see some politics played out? Put a bunch of porn valley whores in a confined space and see what happens.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Jun 20, 2009
Rebel Tags: August Night, Brooke Haven, Courtney Simpson, Devon Daskalos, Emilianna, Jassie, Jenaveve Jolie, Jessi Summers, Kylee King, Myah Monroe, Paris, Sara Stone, Tyla Wynn, Valerie Vasquez, Vertigo, Directed By Bobby Manila, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Euro, Group, Lesbian, Teen, Toys

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven
Produced by: Vertigo and Directed By Martin del Toro
Full DVD Review: Tonsil Hockey

Along with dating one of the most powerful men in porn comes certain privileges. Accordingly, Brooke Haven pretty much has her choice of scenes and partners, and everyone kisses her ass. That may seem strange, considering the vigor with which these guys cram cock down her throat, but that's just earning a paycheck. It'd be one thing if it were Brian Surewood or some other degenerate working her over. But Brooke draws some quality cock for this occasion. She's so laid-back about the whole blowbang that I almost feel compelled to dock her. However, you have to remember that the ultra talented ones make it all look easy.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Jun 17, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Alex Rox, Anthony Hardwood, James Deen, Vertigo, Directed By Martin del Toro, Big Tits, Blonde, Blowjob, Gagging, GangBang

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven
Produced by: Vertigo and Directed By Martin del Toro
Full DVD Review: Doubled Up

Chemistry in porn can happen when you least expect it. Sometimes it causes the stars to make a passionate connection that burns up the screen. Other times it creates animosity between "co-workers," which can lead to competition. Both scenarios accomplish the same result - a fantastic and compelling scene. So when Alex Rox starts slinging one-liners at Brooke Haven, you know something special is coming. It might not be the most romantic depiction ever, but it will definitely grab your attention. After all, how often do you hear people firing off shots at each other mid-fuck? These aren't even passionate hate fuck statements. They're quite literally expressions of disdain. If you ask me, Brooke can trash talk all she wants, but she'll never win the argument. Reason being is that she's inevitably the one covered in cum at the end.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 15, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Alex Rox, Anthony Hardwood, Vertigo, Directed By Martin del Toro, Big Tits, Blonde, Two On One

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven, Katrina Kraven
Produced by: Vertigo and Directed By Alexis Malone
Full DVD Review: Filthy Rich

Like a sailor on shore leave, Brian Surewood is smack in the middle of a filthy pirate fantasy with Brooke Haven and Katrina Kraven. What man of the sea wouldn't love to splash around with a busty wench in a soapy bath? Two is just tar on the deck, especially a couple of wild ones like these! Did someone offer Brooke and Katrina a bonus for the most energetic scene? They're beyond the level of sexual enjoyment. This is clear over the top. Were it not for the fact that the dude swinging cock is Captain Surewood, I might honestly believe that they're totally psyched up by how hot this is. But if anyone can take the wind out of a whore's sails, it's most certainly the Scurvy Sea Dog. Wanna hear something gross? Brooke throws up in her mouth a bit when Brian unloads on her. Guess what happens next?

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 13, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Katrina Kraven, Brian Surewood, Vertigo, Directed By Alexis Malone, Anal, Big Tits, Blonde, Brunette, Cum Swap, Tattoo, Threesome

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Porn Stars: Brooke Haven, Genesis Skye
Produced by: Vertigo and Directed By Martin del Toro
Full DVD Review: Gob Swappers

Call me crazy, but it seems that two whores asking the question, "Where are we going to get our cum?" with a man in the room is totally ridiculous. That's like someone working at McDonalds® and wondering, "Where am I going to get my french fries?" I wish I could say that's the most absurd notion put forth in this particular scene. However, it finishes a distant third to a couple other winning one-liners from Brooke Haven. She's always good for a humorously obvious quip. Also, don't be misled by the girls' initial lack of enthusiasm. They perk right up once the cock comes out. One could argue that their response with such large amounts of saliva is almost Pavlovian. It might also be that this is a Martin del Toro movie.

Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Mar 14, 2009
Rebel Tags: Brooke Haven, Genesis Skye, Pascal St. James, Vertigo, Directed By Martin del Toro, Big Tits, Blonde, Cum Swap, Threesome