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Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
It's the holiday season, so I'm not trying to wish harm on anyone. But damnit, if I don't want Stoney Curtis to die in a fiery car crash. That may seem like a harsh price to pay, simply for making some crappy porn. My belief is that humans need to be made aware of the consequences in life. When you cause distress to other people, you have to expect a certain level of distress to befall you. With the amount of distress this series has given me over the past four volumes, karma has it coming to Stoney.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: DVD Reviews, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis
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Porn Stars: Jessica Jewel, Raquel Devine
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
Why does it take ten minutes of mind numbing conversation and bullshit to get to a shadowy threesome with Jessica and Raquel? Am I the only person who knows that sex is inevitable here? There's no need for all the game playing garbage - Stoney has now crossed the line from providing context to wasting tape. It's not like you need an epic back-story for Dave Hardman laying pipe. He's been known to fuck anything with a pulse (actually, he went necro once for Jim). The same goes for Raquel Devine. I contend that this scene was supposed to head in another direction, but those two started going to town in the bathroom. Stoney being the lackluster director that he is, he decided to run with it. He doesn't give a fuck, as long as some people get in each other.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Jessica Jewel, Raquel Devine, Dave Hardman, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, ATM, Big Tits, Brunette, Editor's Choice, Money Shot, Threesome, Toys
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Porn Stars: Charlese LaMour, Teri Starr
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
**Groan** I'm going to start reviewing this series with the same strategy that I employ with "Fast Times at Deep Crack High." Fast forwarding immediately through everything that occurs pre-strip down is the only way I can give the sex a fair shake. Otherwise, I'm too pissed off by the time the titties come out. "Detailers" in high heels and jumpsuits? They don't even have sponges for fuck's sake! What'd Stoney wait until the last minute for this idea to come to him? Uh, yeah. It reeks of no forethought. The most that could have gone into it was to have someone show up with a car and throw a few towels out by the pool. Man, what a tremendous effort. At least, Teri has a good time. She cums harder than anyone ever has while fucking John West.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Charlese LaMour, Teri Starr, John West, Rick Masters, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Blonde, Group, Outdoor
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Porn Stars: Montana Gunn, Tye, Tracy Love
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
I've never seen Tyce Buné so happy, as when he's sitting behind the wheel of this pink and white Oldsmobile. Dude, you look like my grandfather driving down Atlantic Avenue in Ocean City. If you're going to tell me that this car is a "chick magnet," then the places you're cruising by are bingo halls and sewing circles. Based on the aging of Montana's hands, she's a postage stamp/four-corner combo away from afternoon applesauce and wheelchair dances. In fact, each of these whores has a body that is on its way out. Tye is probably the best, and she doesn't even get in the mix. Can you blame her? You can't tell me that anyone possibly relishes in Tyce Buné's sweaty old body rubbing on them. Well, maybe Tracy Love does, but that bitch is psycho!
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Montana Gunn, Tracy Love, Tye, Tyce Bune, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Blonde, Brunette, Salad Tossing, Threesome
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Porn Stars: Elena, Alexandra Nice
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
As usual, we begin with a kickass car and a couple of bimbos. Herschel Savage makes a few cracks and off we go. Stoney plays the role of the annoying cameraman, while Elena and Alexandra Nice bask in the better life that they've made for themselves in the United States. Girls like them would never get opportunities like this back in Mother Russia. Licking an asshole in the warm California sun with a Brooklyn Jew for a paycheck? East of Moscow, that's about as rare as a progressive political thought.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Alexandra Nice, Elena, Herschel Savage, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Anal, Blonde, Brunette, Euro, Outdoor, Rimjob, Threesome
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Porn Stars: Cortknee
Produced by: Celestial Productions and Directed By Stoney Curtis
As if suffering through the first four scenes of this title weren't enough, now we have to witness Stoney Curtis getting his hands dirty with some semi-anonymous skank. I could have gone my entire career and not known what his balls look like. Now I no longer have that luxury. The action here is lame, as you might expect it to be. Take Stoney's behind the camera persona and put it in front of the lens. Yup, it's that bad.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Dec 23, 2009
Rebel Tags: Cortknee, Stoney Curtis, Celestial Productions, Directed By Stoney Curtis, Blonde
