Video Links: 
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
Thomas Zupko is conceivably the worst cliché in all of porn. He's the stoner drug dealer that everybody tolerated in high school. You know the guy. He "reads" way too many classic works and then feels compelled to debate their greatness with you over the course of an afternoon bong hit marathon. The problem is: when you're not high, that guy sucks balls! He tries to cram knowledge down your throat but picks the wrong forum to do it. Nobody wants to be preached to when they're smoking, and the same idea applies to jerking off. Leave your historical "perspective" in the roaches. When it comes to porn, there are only two types of acceptable "artistry" - foreign films and cinema epics. This historical horror bullshit is better suited for A&E Late Night. They can put it on right after Dog: The Bounty Hunter.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: DVD Reviews, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko
Video Links:
Porn Stars: Illona
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
I'll reserve judgment until the very end, but let's say that things do not start off well. Everything is too disjointed to be understood and too similar to be considered artistic. Sorry to be the snotty film critic. It's just that when Zupko tries to put his work out there as such, you have to expect a certain cynicism from the viewer. Hell, this scene in particular can't even be judged to excel in what's intended to be at its core: porn. The sex itself is horrible! Illona has some of the sloppiest meat curtains a man could ever fear coming across. On top of that, they're poorly lit, which has them resembling some sort of shadowy vaginal mess. Where did the fucking cave people come from anyway? Admittedly, there are only so many characters that Brian Surewood can play. But a pirate, a homeless guy or even a deranged mental patient would have fit the mold better. By the way: Nothing says, "I'm glad I just busted that nut" better than a blood-covered baby.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Illona, Brian Surewood, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko, Anal, Brunette, Costumes, Euro, Feature, Sick and Demented
Video Links:
Porn Stars: Daniella Rush
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
It may sound a tad esoteric, but this isn't the first time I've seen an actress pretending to be Cleopatra getting fucked. What are the odds? Even if this were the first and only occurrence, I doubt I could possibly hold it in any lower regard. The fact that it's vastly inferior to a scene in which there is little to no nudity whatsoever is just sad. Of course, I'm talking about the terrific HBO series, "Rome." Yup, that show kicks major ass, and one specific scene will forever be burned into my memory. I believe it is Lyndsey Marshal (portraying Cleopatra) and Ray Stevenson (Titus Pullo) fucking in an elaborate tent amidst a bevy of handmaidens. As Titus pounds away on the Queen of the Nile back and forth across the room, the servants scream like Arab warriors charging into battle. It's quite the display. Compared to that, this is a high school production on cable access.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Daniella Rush, Brian Surewood, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko, Anal, Brunette, Costumes, Euro, Feature
Video Links:
Porn Stars: Taylor St. Claire
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
What's worse than two people awkwardly fucking in a shadowy room? Two people awkwardly fucking in a shadowy room in costume. It's bad enough that the graphic sex has to strip away any artistic credibility, which Zupko might have built up at the beginning. But when he can't even manage to light a sex scene properly, you almost start to feel bad for the guy. He either doesn't know or doesn't care. And there's Taylor St. Claire giving even less of a shit, just holding out for her paycheck. No wonder people are paying top dollar for Paris Hilton in night vision. If this is the "professional" alternative, then there's something to be said for a young lady doing it of her own volition - picture quality being equal.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Taylor St. Claire, Michael Stefano, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko, Anal, Big Tits, Brunette, Costumes, Feature
Video Links:
Porn Stars: Monica Sweetheart
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
Of all the movies I expected to see Monica Sweetheart in, this one never even crossed my mind. Sure, it sounds like an oxymoron to say that a whore is too good for anything, but she's too good for it. It's unquestionably the most poignant notion put forth by this wretched title. A juxtaposition of Monica Sweetheart in a piece filth that is clearly beneath her highlights just how much of a whore she actually is. What else is there to focus on? Brandon Iron with an arrow sticking out of his chest and muttering the most cliché sexual puns that you've ever heard? We're talking here about the difference between Lewis Black and Carrot Top!
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Monica Sweetheart, Brandon Iron, Mr. Pete, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko, Anal, Blonde, Costumes, Editor's Choice, Euro, Feature
Video Links:
Porn Stars: Dusk Del Mar
Produced by: Extreme Associates and Directed By Thomas Zupko
Anyone who ever might have the ridiculous thought that Zupko is an artistic genius need only to watch this scene, thus absolving him of all undue credit. He has the historical perspective of a burned out stoner. The ideas are there but not the details. For example, somehow we go from Lizzy begging her corpse friend to fuck her (Thankfully, we're spared more zombie porn) to Darwin? Evolution, huh? What about the evolution of Darwin from an English Naturalist to a greaseball Italian in Gino Greco? Details. Also, last time I checked, naturalists' favorite instruments aren't telescopes. Thank goodness, he fucks the retarded busty whore, Dusk Del Mar, before I'm able to punch any more holes in this horny, hippy history fantasy.
Posted by: AmericanVice.com on Apr 29, 2009
Rebel Tags: Dusk Del Mar, Gino Greco, Extreme Associates, Directed By Thomas Zupko, Anal, Big Tits, Blonde, Costumes, Feature
